3 Ways Public Speaking Skills Are Actually Emotional Skills

Why Emotions Matter in Public Speaking

Have you ever believed that “being professional” means keeping your emotions out of the picture? It’s a common misconception at the workplace, especially when public speaking is required – in presentations, townhalls, or group discussions.

“B.Tan” was a newly-appointed regional director who kept his emotions out of whatever he talked about in group settings. Initially, he did this in order to avoid feeling his own nervousness, and it seemed to helped. However, he quickly noticed that it felt more and more difficult to have his listeners stay engaged, and for him to make impactful points. Eventually, the bored expressions and disengaged actions he saw in his audience (especially his boss) made him speak quickly in order to end his segment sooner. This meant skipping over points that further decreased the impact of what he had to say. In the end, this resulted in a stronger sense of nervousness and even a new dread towards speaking up in group settings.

B.Tan was a client of mine, and his story is similar to many others’ whom I’ve helped.

As a public speaking coach in Singapore, I’ve seen again and again how one’s performance for public speaking tends to suffer when they disconnect from emotions.

That’s why I often tell my clients: public speaking skills are, in many ways, emotional skills. In this article, I will attempt to share and explain what’s behind this observation of mine.

As a communication and confidence coach, my work focuses on helping you access and harness emotions, first within yourself, and then in your audience. Below, I’ll share three powerful ways that your public speaking skills are rooted in emotional intelligence, and how you can start tapping on your emotional energy to speak with more confidence, clarity, and connection.

3 Ways Public Speaking Skills Are Actually Emotional Skills

① Being Comfortable With Emotion Is a Core Public Speaking Skill

One of the most significant barriers to effective public speaking is low emotional awareness. When you’re disconnected from your emotions, you can appear robotic or detached, which distances your audience and weakens your message.

Imagine delivering a presentation so focused on the script that you ignore the emotional cues from your listeners, so you miss an opportunity to make an impact. Or, you mistake your audience’s curiosity for objection and speed through your slides in order to end your segment as quickly as possible. Being uncomfortable with emotion can lead to your audience feeling disconnected and maybe even feeling you’re off-track, even though you’ve stuck to your script perfectly.

The real skill is learning to be comfortable with emotion — both your own and your audience’s. When you can sit with feelings like nervousness, curiosity, and even anger, you can start to connect more authentically with your audience.

Think of it like building tolerance for spicy food; uncomfortable at first, but rewarding with practice, as the range of foods you will be able to enjoy increases. Similarly, your emotional capacity determines the range within which you can adjust your tone, message, and body language, making your public speaking skills more engaging and human.

I’ll offer a tip on how to cultivate more emotional capacity, further in.

② More Thinking Will Not Increase Confidence in Public Speaking

Overthinking and self-doubt are two of the most common challenges my clients face before they worked on themselves with a public speaking coach.

During important conversations, is your mind flooded with thoughts such as, “Should I say this?” or “What if I’m wrong?”, until you decide not to speak up at all? Or are you furiously weighing the logical quality of what you want to say, while the moment to speak passes you by?

Many of these same clients also received feedback from their bosses along the lines of, “You need to speak up more,” or “You need to show up more confidently in meetings.” If this is you, it can feel even more nerve-wrecking if your promotion hanging is on this. Or, you might be newly-promoted and suddenly realize that you need to speak up with assertively and without hesitation

You might already have noticed – the root of that hesitation isn’t a lack of ideas. It’s clearly something else. If so, I suggest that it’s emotional in nature.

Sometimes it shows up as imposter syndrome, where you doubt your abilities or even self-worth. This emotional loop weakens your presence and causes your message to sound uncertain. You might even try to shrink away entirely.

The solution isn’t to “think” your way out of overthinking. Yes, our logic needs to be sound, but ultimately, the way forward is through action — and action is fuelled by emotion.

Notice again: isn’t your overthinking the ‘logical’ side yourself? Despite having strong logic, you weren’t able to act. There is something stronger at work within your self. 

That’s why, in communication coaching, we work to harness emotion – the “spark” that propels  you speak up with conviction and confidence.

Denzel Wong  |  Software Development

③ Expecting Anxiety Is Key To Better Public Speaking Skills

Anxiety is one of the most feared emotions in public speaking, and it can become more destructive when you fight it. When intense, it can cause shaking, sweating, or that dreaded blank mind moment. Your audience may notice confusion, hesitation, or loss of flow, all because you were fighting to hide your anxiety. Ironically, nothing screams “I’m anxious!” more than trying to fight anxiety, don’t you agree?

That’s why I coach my clients to expect anxiety instead of fearing it. When you accept it as a natural response, you stop wasting energy trying to suppress it. Through assistance such as coaching, you can learn to work with it, so you stay alert and present. And of course, there’s the critical requirement of cultivating greater emotional capacity, so you can work with your anxiety with more agility and for longer durations. These changes can then open your way to stronger connection and impact when you speak.

In my communication and confidence coaching sessions, I help clients explore how to act from uncertainty instead of avoiding it. This counter-intuitive shift builds emotional authenticity and trust, qualities that make your public speaking more powerful and persuasive.

Coach Ellery’s Tip: A Practice for Emotional Capacity

Here’s one thing you can practice to start increasing your emotional capacity.

1. Notice moments when you feel (any of) your emotions strongly.
2. Instead of brushing it away or distracting yourself with a different matter, allow yourself to sit with that emotion.
3. Simply feel the emotion as fully as possible, without going into solutions, ‘why’s, or judgements.
4. When it feels like you’ve held this for as long as you can, let it go.
5. Practice the same thing again the next time it happens. Be gentle with yourself as you slowly increase the amount of time you can stay with strong emotions.

Yanee Peh | Intelligence Analyst

Effective Communicators Are Emotionally Skilled

By now, you can see how the belief that “professionals should keep emotions out” is a myth that can undermine the potential of speakers and executives. Emotions are not distractions, they are data; they are fuel. They reveal what matters, help you read your audience, and are key to influence and power.

Learning to understand, manage, and express emotions is one of the fastest ways to improve your public speaking skills. It can help you speak up in meetings, present ideas clearly, and connect meaningfully with your audience. This can make a significant difference if you are in the running for a promotion, or need to establish your leadership presence.

If you are ready to strengthen both your emotional intelligence and communication confidence, 1-on-1 coaching can be an effective next step.

How a Public Speaking Coach in Singapore Can Help You

As a full-time public speaking coach in Singapore, I’ve helped numerous clients from various industries overcome anxiety, overthinking, and fear of judgment. Every coaching engagement is tailored to each client’s personality and goals, but the process usually includes:

1. Discovery & Reflection — We explore your current speaking patterns, blind spots, and triggers.
2. Awareness & Reframing — You learn to observe and be more choiceful with your emotional responses.
3. Equipping – We co-create techniques and strategies that are suited to your character and unique needs.
   
4. Authentic Practice — We experiment with new ways of speaking that feel genuine to you, through simulating your real-life situations.
   
5. Calibration & Growth — You take your new skills to your real life, and based on the feedback and results, we continue to fine-tune your skills and sustain progress.

Through this process, you can not only become a more confident speaker, but also a more emotionally attuned communicator, both in and outside of the workplace.

What is Coaching?

Coaching is a form of super-customised learning, focused solely on your needs. It is one of the most dignified forms of professional help, because you choose the topic, direction and depth of what you wish to work on.

In fact, my clients are NOT ‘broken’ in any way. They are capable, creative and self-initiated individuals who want to live out their full potential. Many of them are high-performers at their workplace.

They just want support to help them hit their objectives more quickly and with less pain.

If taking ownership of your growth appeals to you, coaching is might be suitable for you.

WhatsApp me now to find out how you and I can work together on your communication and confidence.

A Client’s Reports of Success in Presentations & Public Speaking

“People with balls” would be the last thing you’d think of this client of mine, if you encountered her in the past. She sought me out because she was riddled with anxiety at the workplace. Even an unexpected “Hello, how are you” from a colleague would make her anxious. She suffered low confidence in her official duties whenever she had to facilitate meetings between different departments, or to formally present her views. The tension from the discussions and questioning often made her freeze.

Today, after coaching with me and actively practicing what she’s learnt, she has no issues with presenting and speaking up in the room. This embodied, felt sense of confidence was validated in the form of feedback from her CEO, as well as invitations to work with senior leader teams.

Her own words are captured in the screenshots below. Her full testimonial can also be found here.

“Still using the methods you told me after all these while! I don’t have issues with presenting and speaking up in a room anymore. I was helping another department coordinate meetings with senior leaders. After a few sessions, the organiser asked if I could join her team — she needs people with balls like me!“

Frequently Asked Questions About Public Speaking Coaching

1. How can Ellery help me as a public speaking coach?

As a public speaking coach, I can help you improve your communication skills through personalised learning that has exploration and experimentation at its core. The aim is to help you increase your self-awareness, capacity and skills by uncovering your unique blindspots and develop methods to get you unstuck from your challenges.

2. How many coaching session will I need with Ellery?

How many coaching sessions you need is ultimately determined by your resistances (i.e. what you’re currently find easy or difficult to do), and how intensely you’re willing to practice showing up differently in your real-world settings. And of course, the complexity of your challenges and environment are huge factors too.

The variability of factors is exactly why the personalised nature of coaching is useful (as compared to the one-size-fits-all nature of training).

The variability between each person is also why I always do a ‘chemistry’ coaching session with you before we commit to long-term work together. Your possible scope of work will be quite evident after we complete the session.

3. Is public speaking coaching only for executives?

Not at all. Coaching benefits anyone who wants to express themselves more clearly and confidently. After all, the ability to communicate and influence is crucial both for professional as well as social success. If the essence of public speaking is to express oneself fully, clearly and confidently, then this work can impact your life positively, regardless of whether you are addressing your team or your spouse. My work often includes supporting clients to manage conflicts and improve relationships, through better communication.

4. How is Ellery’s coaching different from public speaking training?

One of clients who is a HR executive once said it succinctly, “Rank and file get sent to training; leaders seek coaching”. This is why top performers, or those who want a breakthrough, work with a coach. 

Unlike training classes, my coaching is tailored to your specific needs and character patterns. It is also conducted in a private environment where you can experiment freely, leading to faster, more authentic growth.

The advantage of working with me is how you will likely experience positive shifts on-the-spot, instead of having to wait to “see if it works”. This because of my background as an ontological coach. 

Or, if you know what you want, and would like to move things along more quickly, you can pre-book a ‘chemistry’ coaching session with me through the button below ⬇︎