Ontological Life Coach in Singapore
I’m Ellery. I can help you be more effective in your interpersonal and work communication, and to increase your confidence while lowering your anxiety. These are among some of the things I do as an ontological life coach, based in Singapore.
I have extensive experience as a communication and confidence coach because over the years, these two areas were what most of my clients first sought me for.
I can help you to communicate more effectively, increase confidence, improve relationships, manage emotions and strengthen leadership.
"My friend told me I changed a lot, from negative, defensive communication to positive, & am able to look at different perspectives."
I have learnt a lot from you. Although our lesson is not really long but those feedback you shared with me has really helped me to realize many things that sometimes words can’t express. I did adjust my way of approaching, initially I was struggling and not really willing, as I felt it was hypocritical, but eventually it became a normal routine. Till one day my friend told me I have changed a lot - from negative, defensive coummunication, to positive, and am able to look at things from different perspectives. This has also helped in my work when communicating with clients and colleagues.
"I discovered how to say ‘No’, in a way that felt powerful yet safe to express. I understood that I have a voice & I can use it."
Ellery helped me create major positive shifts in my relationships. He supported me in reclaiming the freedom and personal dignity that comes from having healthy boundaries.
Most memorable for me, was when I discovered how to say “No”, in a way that felt powerful yet safe to express. It was quite an emotional breakthrough for me. I understood that I have a voice and I can use it to do what I needed to do for myself and be heard.
The effects in my life were real! I was able to protect myself from resentment and burnout at work. I was able to push back unreasonable requests and unwanted opinions without feeling defensive and angry. At home, the communication with my husband became more open, allowing us to be better partners in parenting.
I can now ask for what I need without damaging relationships; there is ease and peace.
"I actually felt a difference in my posture & its positive consequences, either in myself or in the communication with others."
My coaching experience with Ellery was definitely very good for me. I felt really heard and guided into this assertive approach of the Body / Emotion / Language, how they all must grow together. I actually felt a difference in my posture and its positive consequences, either in myself or in the communication with others.
I trust Ellery to coach me, I’ve found him to be very professional, focused in my best interests, always leading me to know more about myself and my behaviour. I find him to be a good coach, as he has this accurate understanding on the many issues that we talked about in our sessions and is able to address them assertively.
I definitely recommend Ellery as a coach, to anyone who wants to deal better with their challenges in life.
"His practical tips & tools enabled me to increase my confidence in handling difficult situations & stakeholders."
Before I met Ellery, I was unmotivated both in my personal and work life. But his coaching sessions transformed me within 2 months.
With Ellery’s support, I reconnected with my good habits and got back on my routines. I started my regular walks, set time for meditation. As a result, I managed to complete my tasks on time without distractions!
His practical tips and tools enabled me to increase my confidence in handling difficult situations and stakeholders when I joined a new company during covid period. His techniques are effective because they work both in your mind and in your body.
I would highly recommend him to anyone who want positive changes and impact in their lives. Ellery is a coach who can spot the root of your problems fast and helps you to formulate your own solutions.
"The sessions help me to align what my brain wants & how I can tap my body as well as language to achieve the desired outcomes.
Coach El has helped me move away from my All or Nothing attitude in my professional life by providing me with easy-to-use tools and a range of possible outcomes to focus on rather than a weakly perceived, rigid one. The main tools are my body language, breathing exercise and posture when I engage with my clients, candidates and colleagues.
The sessions help me to align what my brain wants and how I can tap my body language as well as verbal language effectively to acheive the desired outcomes.
Coach El has helped me through a difficult and frustrating second half of 2020 caused by the global pandemic as each session has been freeing in helping me 'see' that different outcomes can be seen with positivity. The rigidity and short-sightedness of the previous lens I used to 'wear' has been slowly replaced by a softer, gentler and more flexible pair of glasses through which I try and view the world today. Thanks a ton, Coach El.
"With swift & artful techniques, Ellery created a lot of clarity, enabled me to take action after each coaching session.
Being coached by Ellery has been illuminating. I brought a topic which I have some clarity over, but have been struggling to understand and manage for years. With swift and artful techniques, Ellery created a lot of clarity, enabled me to experience epiphanic moments and motivated me to take action after each coaching session. I am also particularly grateful for his support during an acute phase of my life in the last 3 months. Thank you, Ellery!
"I overcame the anxiety to speak with people of higher social status... moved me to be effective in my relationships & confidence."
Hi Ellery, just wanted to say a big “thank you" on your coaching over the past few months.
I’m glad that I have decided to work with you. It is really great how easy to be open with you to share with you my thoughts and in the process, you are sharp and could identify with me the perspectives that I didn’t see for myself. It’s like I have a mirror now to look at the blindspots that I have missed or undiscovered.
Your coaching has also helped me to reconnect and realigned deeply with my thoughts, which brings CLARITY that has moved me to be effective in life, in areas of my work, in my relationships and my confidence.
In applying simple techniques that you shared with me, I overcame the anxiety to speak with people of higher social status.
Thank you again and would definitely recommend you to anyone looking for a great coach, who wants to better themselves. Cheers 😉
"El has made me become a more direct communicator. I was able to make my needs well-known to others – thus making my communication with people around me a lot better.
El has made me become a more direct communicator.
Before I went coaching with El, I found it challenging to communicate my requests and expectations to my colleagues and friends. El has helped me figure out these blind spots. By being aware of them, I was able to make my needs well-known to others – thus making my communication with people around me a lot better. I am able to give better clarity to those around me as well, both in work and personal relationships.
I also appreciate how honest El has been with his feedback.
It was very direct, concise, and clear. I appreciate the guidance and the steps he has given me because it makes me think for myself rather than give direct solutions that might not feel genuine to me. He enhances my true colors through his coaching methods and prompts me with questions.
If you are in a position where you think everything feels like it doesn’t go your way, or maybe you are facing some challenges in communicating with those around you, I would highly recommend you go to El! There might be something you can do differently to make a change and impact your environment, happiness, and well-being.
It takes a lot of courage, hard work, and open-mindedness to try this coaching method. But based on my experience – it opens up a lot of possibilities (that initially I thought was not possible), and it makes me feel that there is nothing I can’t do as long as I set my mind, passion, and effort into it. It makes me feel free in a different way and the “I got this” feeling.
Thank you El!
"I see the improvement in my communication and relationship with my loved ones & I am closer to them again."
Ellery has helped me a lot in my day to day interaction with people especially my loved ones. I used to be a “skeptical” person who’s scared to try something new but with the help of my coaching with Ellery, I became more open on trying new things and receptive of feedbacks and opinions of other people.
Because of me being more open now, I can see the improvement in my communication and relationship with my loved ones and I am closer to them again. This is the most significant shift after coaching with Ellery. I started my coaching journey because a lot of misunderstandings and tension had been piling up between my loved ones and I.
Ellery helped me to speak my mind (without overthinking), lay out my intentions, listen intently and not jump into conclusions, allowing me to improve my relationships with the people around me.
If you wish for more openness and stronger relationships, I will recommend coaching with Ellery, as he can help on how to see/filter things in a more positive and open way.
"I feel a lot more at peace with myself; I'm more confident in myself, I know that I'll figure things out even when things get messy."
I'd recommend Ellery to anyone who's aware that they're in a loop or cycle that they can't break out of and needs some professional, external and unbiased coaching to help them become aware of how to move out of that zone. It's really hard to change something when you can't see the 'blindspots' and I think that's very applicable in this situation.
I was in a very bad place in my personal life and I needed some guidance, advice, help and feedback to organize my thoughts and find a way forward out of what seemed like a constant downward spiral of negativity and guilt. I was trying to control everything in my life.
After coaching with Ellery, I feel a lot more at peace with myself; with who I was and how I came to be who I am. And how to truly love and be compassionate towards myself first so that I may be towards others as well. I'm more confident in myself, I know that I'll figure things out even when things get messy and I know that life will be okay even if it doesn't go according to plan.
I loved and respected the fact that Ellery is not one to shy away from calling me out on my shit. As someone who loves to over-rationalize, it's easy to end up making excuses for myself and frame the narrative as a fixed story in my head. I also think that Ellery’s very skilled at sifting through all my stories (and Lord knows I love to tell my stories to explain myself) and finding the root of my unhappiness or dissatisfaction, which really neatens the whirlwind of thoughts and opinions and feelings in my head which are all entangled amongst each other.
"I am able to be more assertive in my requests to my colleagues & managers. And I’ve been able to adopt a more relaxed stance to issues at work."
Ellery has helped me reframe the way I perceive myself in relation to the world. I hadn't realised how much of my perceptions were really the result of self-talk and assumptions. Ellery points out the language I use and how it affects the way I feel when I interact with the world.
On a more tangible level, coaching with Ellery enabled me to manage my feelings of burnout during the COVID19 crisis as well as paying attention to my posture and physical stance.
I am able to be more assertive in my requests to my colleagues and managers. And I’ve been able to adopt a more relaxed stance both physically and mentally to issues at work.
"Working with Ellery was highly worth the investment as I gained so many tools I can use for a lifetime & I have been freed in many ways."
I did 10 sessions with Ellery and it was actually very life-changing for me. Each and every session was jam-packed with the guidance and new perspectives I sorely needed. Some even of things I didn't even know were a block for me.
I really enjoyed how Ellery always made me feel very heard and never once told me what to do. Instead, the self-discoveries he led me on were a lot more impactful that I had ever expected. It led me to form better habits in my career, at home, socially.
I would recommend Ellery to everyone. Working with him was highly worth the investment as I gained so many tools I can use for a lifetime and I have been freed in many ways.
Less Suffering & More Freedom
Through a Life Coach With An Ontological Approach
We thought we understood our world.
We used to navigate life based on the core, unshakable truths we shared. Our decisions were guided by the collective wisdom of government, religion and family, so even in the face of mysteries and challenges, there was a baseline of certainty.
But now, radical new ‘truths’ emerge every other day. As our communities are fragmented by ambiguities, we are pushed to make sense of the world individually. And despite being overwhelmed by information, we know less and fear more.
Therefore, having the support of a personal coach can be highly advantageous if you wish to thrive in this VUCA world. Good coaching is a form of continuous learning that’s personalized for your challenges. A professional coach also provides you a space to process your emotions safely and to formulate your strategies creatively.
As your life coach, I can bring you these benefits, but above all, I will guide you to expand your self-awareness. This will grow your inner resources, and enable you to see possibilities that you couldn’t see before.
Your circumstances may remain uncertain, but you can become more resilient.
The Rise of Coaching
(or, why I would want a life coach)
The increasing number of searches for life coaches is not just happening in Singapore. It is part of a larger trend that is rapidly growing in various developed countries for the following reasons:
- Automation, the internet and social media quicken the pace of life and raise expectations to overwhelming levels
- The world grows more volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous (VUCA) by the day
- The preference for individualization over traditional institutions (such as government, religion and family), resulting in people having to navigate a VUCA world independently
- Post-COVID, professional and personal communities become even smaller and more decentralized, increasing the need to be competent at use of self to manage relationships
- Feeling alone, despite being connected 24/7. This can be especially true for people in leadership positions, as they may have no one to confide in safely
- “High-tech, low-touch” – our interactions become less personable and empathetic as internet culture continues to shape the physical world, exacerbated by COVID-19
As we scramble to cope – and hopefully, to flourish – under the above factors, we inevitably run into proverbial brick walls that we just cannot seem to get over. They could be big, dramatic events, or issues that are more low-key but consistently show up in certain areas of your life.
They could be matters that are external, or something we are holding in our minds (or hearts). It could be a boss that you just cannot seem to please; a co-worker who you just can’t seem to get along with; a friend or family member who repeatedly “triggers” you; or something inside you that you feel is lacking, or preventing you from “moving on”.
Wisdom & New Learning
You sense that there is a need to work on yourself, and may have turned to resources such as self development books, training programs and the internet to better your inner self. This is good awareness, and I congratulate you for it.
The internet can be a handy resource. But while Googling and watching YouTube may get you information, that’s not the same as wisdom. It takes wisdom – knowing how to make use of information – to make real breakthroughs.
To survive in a world that changes nearly on a daily basis, we need to be able to look at things anew. This hinges on our ability for learning – learning that’s not one-size-fits-all, but customized for each individual. Learning that arises from awareness of self and of others.
Coaching is the process where such learning and wisdom for an individual is generated.
AI may become more and more advanced, but it takes a human soul to truly understand another, and to reflect that understanding through empathy and insight. This acting as a “human mirror” is the unique offering of a good life coach. Jack Ma alluded to this when he spoke about “LQ” – the quotient of love.