What Is Ontological Coaching?
What is Ontological Coaching?
Ontological coaching is a coaching approach that works at the level of your being — examining how your language, emotions, and body shape the way you see yourself and the world. In Singapore, I use ontological coaching to help professionals shift deep patterns that block interpersonal communication, authentic confidence, and even career progression. It is also a cornerstone of strong executive presence.
Two Examples of What an Ontological Lens Can Uncover
As an ontological coach in Singapore, I can help you to cultivate awareness of not only what you are doing, but how you are perceiving, interpreting and responding to your experiences in real-time.
Example 1 ⬆
Two children – one very young, the other older – are up in an apartment block. They look down at the street. The very young one says, “There are tiny people and tiny cars!”
The older one says, “See how tiny the people and cars look from here!”
Example 2 ⬆
You want to speak up in a meeting but feel a familiar tightening in your chest. You think, “I always don’t dare to speak up. That’s just me.”
Notice what just happened in the body — the tightening came before the thought finished forming. That’s not a personality trait. That’s a pattern.
“That’s just me” is not a fact. Neither is it your real identity. And is it true that you “always” do not dare to speak up — not even once? These are interpretations you have held for so long that they have become transparent to you.
Ontological Coaching Evokes Deep Awareness
Both the children were able to look at things. But only one of them was aware of how he was looking at things. As revealed by their language, the conditions through which the street was viewed (i.e. the vertical distance) “had” the younger kid, but not the older kid. The older kid was aware of the epistemology. That difference in awareness is exactly where ontological coaching begins.
The same was true in the meeting room. The story “I always don’t dare to speak up; that’s just me” is not a fact about you. It is an identity you have embodied over time. And like the younger child who could not see past the height, that story can “have” you — invisibly, persistently — until it is made visible.
Such awareness of how you are looking at things is the prerequisite for deep, sustainable change.
Through ontological coaching, we examine and question the ontology and epistemology of things so that they become visible to us. Once we are able to see them, we “have” them, instead of them “having” us.
This is what I strive to help my clients achieve through my ontological coaching lens: to shift from looking at things to looking at how they are looking at things. That awareness is critical, because awareness is prerequisite for change. Without it, change tends to be shallow rather than deep; tactical rather than fundamental.
The Value of My Ontological Approach To Coaching
Most coaching out there focus on How — the actions, behaviours, and skills that produce results. Some coaching goes deeper and works on Why — the reasons, motivations, and values behind those actions.
Ontological coaching goes one level deeper still: it works on the Who.
- How — the actions and behaviours you perform
- Why — the reasons and motivations behind those actions
- Who — the beliefs, stories, and identity from which your Why and How emerge
When we shift the Who, the Why becomes clear — and the How naturally follows.
This is why ontological work produces changes that feel deep and sustainable rather than shallow and temporary. You are not applying a band-aid over the same old self. You are becoming a different observer of your own situation.
'How' → Result
Most often, people tweak the ‘How’ to get the results they want. This is the most visible part of the equation and therefore the easiest to work on. This is where trainers, teachers and consultants will do their work. The focus is on techniques, methods and tools. The belief here is, if I use the best ‘tool’ in the ‘correct’ manner, I will get the result I want!… but we know that in real life, this is hardly a guarantee.
'Why' → 'How' → Result
Despite having resources available for their ‘How’, people don’t always achieve the results they want. Therefore, a deeper level would be to examine and strengthen their ‘Why’. The focus is on reasons, motivation, stakes, etc. This where most personal development programs or even coaches will work on with the client. This can be effective, if the client has clarity of the goal.
However, haven’t you met or heard of someone who is cognitively aware of their ‘Why’, but yet is somehow unable to get the results they are after? Maybe you are that person. You know your reasons for wanting or even needing the results. But somehow, you seem stuck at the same problem or issue. You may have tried multiple ‘How’s’, but you’re not closer to your goal .
'Who' → 'Why' → 'How' → Result
We can go even deeper by working on the ‘Who’. The focus here is on our narratives about self, identity and the world around us. When we are able to shift our ‘Who’s’, our ‘Why’s’ and ‘How’s’ will shift as well. In fact, our options often increase. What previously seemed impossible may become accessible.
More often than not, what prevents us from getting to the goal is not so much a lack of resources, but our narratives of why we cannot access those resources. These narratives set us up in corresponding moods and bodies, to the point that they reinforce one another, making us truly stuck.
If we slow down enough to unpack and question our ‘Who’, we start moving towards freedom.
‘Who’ You Are Creates The Challenges You Meet
Please indulge the geek in me as I use the example of Prof. Xavier and Magneto, both leaders of mutants (evolved members of humankind possessing super-abilities). They both want a world where their mutant kind can live in peace. But while the former is respected as a visionary, the latter is feared as the enemy, due to each leader’s ‘Who’. Prof. Xavier seeks a harmonious, communicative approach because he regards himself as equals of humans, while Magneto takes a dominating and seperatist stance because he sees mutantkind as a superior and different spieces from humans. From these two ‘Who’s, very different motivations, actions and results ensue.
And since we’re here, remember Thanos? He had the big idea to save the universe; to make life sustainable, he’ll extinguish half of all lifeforms in the universe using a gauntlet with almighty powers. This incited all of earth’s superheroes to band together to take him down. But Thanos never thought of himself as the bad guy. He genuinely believed he was doing the universe a benevolent favor. But here’s the thing: if Thanos could do anything he wanted with his powers, why didn’t he choose to double the resources across the universe, instead of killing half of all life?
The latter choice created lots of pain for himself and others around him, while the former choice would have created less or no pain. ‘Who’ did Thanos believe he was, that made him decide this was the best course of action?
As you can see, we tend to suffer when the ‘Who’ we hold do not serve the results we want. Such incongruence sets us up against unnecessary difficulties and grief, and we may not see why.
This is why, in my ontological coaching work, I focus on uncovering (and expanding) the ‘Who’ of my clients. When we are conscious of the ‘Who’, the ‘Why’ becomes clearer, and we will see more possibilites for the ‘How’.
This is as true for us as it is for superheroes.
The Three Domains of Your ‘Who’
An ontological coach creates change in clients by working with them in three main domains: in language, emotion and body (linguistically, emotionally and somatically). These three domains are where ontological coaching becomes highly practical rather than merely theoretical. Shifting any one of them starts shifting ‘Who’ you are.
Language
Language is one of the primary ways ontological coaching creates change.
Linguistics concern the words you speak to the world and the words you speak to yourself in your head. This is the cognitive, mental domain, involving things such as thought and mindset. Not surprisingly, this is where most of the coaching work all over the world is done. Ontological coaches are highly aware that the words you speak don’t merely reveal what’s inside you… they shape the world outside you as well. I can work with you to deconstruct your language, giving you fresh new awareness of what you have been unconsciously creating through your words, so that you can go on to create what you want, consciously.
This is why ontological coaching pays close attention to the words you use, the meanings you assign, and the possibilities those meanings create or shut down.
Emotion
Ontological coaching also works through emotion, because emotion shapes perception before words even arrive.
Emotions are a huge part of why and how we do the things we do. This domain is often a mysterious and/or confusing area, as many have been taught to chase after the “bright” emotions (e.g. bliss, excitement, affection) while avoiding the “dark” ones (e.g. grief, boredom, anger). A large part of the population may also regard emotions as something undesirable, almost like a burden. Ontological coaches can guide clients to mine their emotions for clarity that may take more time or effort to achieve through words. I can also help you learn how to navigate your full range of emotions, so that you experience the full range of your life as well.
In ontological coaching, emotional awareness matters because it reveals the hidden state from which you are already communicating.
Body
The body is not just part of the picture ; in ontological coaching, it is part of the mechanism of change.
Somatics concern the body and all that is physical, including things like facial expression, breathing and how we move – or do not move – the body. It also involves how we feel ourselves from the inside; physical sensations, emotional qualities, energy, etc. The sum total of these physical factors contribute to how we make sense of ourselves internally, as well as how people perceive us from the outside. It should not be surprising that many of these factors are invisible to most people. I can make these things visible to you, so that you can enjoy freedom and control in both body and mind. You will also gain an additional source of clarity.
That is why ontological coaching works with posture, tension, breathing and movement rather than treating insight alone as enough.
These three domains – linguistics, emotions and somatics – make up your ‘Who’. New awareness in one of these domains can ripple off into the other two, creating a shift, a whole new way of being useful towards the results you seek. Together, they form the practical foundation of ontological coaching.
The aim of ontological coaching is not only insight, but an increased range in the ways you show up in real-life. The focus is not so much on prescribing solutions, which is the ‘How’. Rather, I work with your personal ontology and epistemology to shift your ‘Who’:
What identity are you taking on that makes you see the world this way?
If you wished for the world to respond to you in a different way, WHO would you need to be?
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Where Ontological Coaching & Communication Meet
In my practice, ontological coaching most often shows up in the context of communication and confidence.
Not because communication is the only domain ontological work applies to — but because it is where the gap between knowing and being is most painfully visible.
A client might know they should speak up in meetings. They have the idea. They have rehearsed the words. And yet, they freeze, ramble, or say something half-formed and spend the rest of the day replaying it.
This is not a skill problem. It is a Who problem.
The inner narrative (“What would they think if I’m wrong”), the emotional state (a quiet dread of being wrong in public), and the body (a collapsed chest, shallow breath, held tension) — these three are conspiring before a single word is spoken.
This is why my ontological coaching work with communication goes beyond tips and scripts. We work on the deeper structure that is generating the freeze, the ramble, or the overthinking. When that structure shifts, the change in communication is not performed — it is congruent. It comes from a different Who.
If this is the territory you are navigating, you may find it useful to read more about my approach to public speaking coaching in Singapore and why public speaking struggles are often emotional skills problems.
Who Is Ontological Coaching For?
Ontological coaching is for executives and professionals who are already capable, self-aware, and motivated — and yet keep running into the same patterns.
It is particularly effective for people who:
- Know what they should do but struggle to consistently do it
- Feel confident in private but uncertain or guarded in group settings
- Receive feedback on their communication or interpersonal presence but cannot translate that feedback into change
- Feel stuck in a version of themselves that no longer fits where they want to go
- Want a coaching process that works deep into the whole person — not just mindset and theories
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An Ontological Coaching Client’s
Reports of Success in Presentations & Public Speaking
“People with balls” would be the last thing you’d think of this client of mine, if you encountered her in the past. She sought me for ontological coaching because she was riddled with anxiety at the workplace. Even an unexpected “Hello, how are you” from a colleague would make her anxious. She suffered low confidence in her official duties whenever she had to facilitate meetings between different departments, or to formally present her views. The tension from the discussions and questioning often made her freeze.
Today, after coaching with me and actively practicing what she’s learnt, she has no issues with presenting and speaking up in the room. This embodied, felt sense of confidence was validated in the form of feedback from her CEO, as well as invitations to work with senior leader teams.
Her own words are captured in the screenshots below. Her full testimonial can also be found here.
Hi El!! Just wanted to let you know that I’m receiving a lot of good feedbacks about my presentation yesterday. People told me in person and messaged me after that. The CEO emailed to another business head that what I shared was “quite powerful”.
“Still using the methods you told me after all these while! I don’t have issues with presenting and speaking up in a room anymore. I was helping another department coordinate meetings with senior leaders. After a few sessions, the organiser asked if I could join her team — she needs people with balls like me!“
Frequently Asked Questions About Ontological Coaching in Singapore
1. How is ontological coaching different from other types of coaching?
Most coaching works at the level of How — helping you develop skills, set goals, and take better actions. Ontological coaching works at the level of Who — examining the beliefs, emotional habits, and physical dispositions that shape how you see and act in the world. The difference is not just philosophical: it produces changes that are more durable, because you are not layering new behaviour over an unchanged self.
I work with how your body, emotions, and thinking interact under pressure, so you can speak up, assert your views, and stay present, whether you’re in a boardroom discussion or on stage.
2. Is ontological coaching the same as life coaching?
No. Ontological coaching is a specific methodology within the broader coaching field. It draws from philosophy, phenomenology, and the biology of cognition — rather than psychology or therapy. A coach trained in the ontological approach is working with your way of being, which is a more precise and deeper intervention than general life coaching. To this end, I’m a Newfield Certified Coach (NCC®), trained by the Newfield Network, one of the world’s leading ontological coaching institutions. Somatics-wise, I’m the first and only Embodied Yoga Principles coach (at the time of this writing) in Asia, which equips me to help you make changes at an embodied, practical level.
Using this ontological foundation, I help you mainly in the areas of executive communication and public speaking; this further distinguishes my work from that of a general life-coach.
3. Can ontological coaching help with communication and public speaking?
Yes — communication and public speaking are areas where ontological coaching is especially effective. Communication breakdowns (freezing, rambling, anxiety before presentations, difficulty asserting yourself in groups) are rarely just skill gaps. They are expressions of deeper patterns in how you observe yourself, how you hold your body, and what emotional state you are in when you speak. Ontological coaching addresses those root patterns directly, and I can help you build the capacity to speak more clearly and confidently in everyday high-pressure moments.
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4. How long does it take to see results through Ellery's ontological coaching?
How many coaching sessions you need is ultimately determined by your existing capacity and resistances (i.e. what you’re currently able and not able to do), and how intensively you’re willing to practice showing up differently in your real-world settings. And of course, the complexity of your challenges and environment are huge factors too.
The variability of factors is exactly why the personalised nature of coaching is useful (as compared to the one-size-fits-all nature of training).
The variability between each person is also why I always do a ‘chemistry’ coaching session with you before we commit to long-term work together. Your possible scope of work will be quite evident after we complete the session.
5. Is ontological coaching for communication & confidence possible if I'm highly introverted?
Yes. And introversion itself is not the obstacle. Many of my clients identify as introverts; I myself indentify as introverted as well.
Ontological coaching works at the level of the stories, beliefs, and embodied patterns that shape how you show up — not at the level of personality type. Introversion describes how you recharge and process; it does not explain why you freeze, over-qualify, or go blank under pressure. Those patterns typically have a different root.
What many of my clients discover is that the anxiety they experience in meetings, presentations, or high-stakes conversations is less about being introverted and more about specific narratives they carry, e.g.“Who am I to say this” or “I need to wait for the best moment”, etc and the tension those narratives create in the body.
That tension matters. Because the body is not just where the story is stored — it is also where the shift begins. When we work somatically, adjusting posture, breath, and physical presence, something changes in how you feel internally, which changes how you speak, which changes how others receive you. The introversion does not disappear. But the grip of the story does.
The work is not about becoming extroverted. It is about becoming free: free to choose how you show up, rather than having a story choose for you.
6. How do I know if coaching with Ellery is a good fit?
The most practical way is through a ‘chemistry’ coaching session, where you and I start unpacking your challenges and co-creating strategies, for real. Through this, you will experience our professional compatibility, first-hand.
Coaching is a individualised craft where the learning scope is uniquely-customised to your needs. If you value depth, self-awareness, and practical transformation (not just surface-level tips), it’s likely to be a strong fit.
On your part, a willingness to take responsibility for your own learning, to experiment, and to confront your blindspots are critical requisites.
Tap Into The Power of Shifting Your ‘Who’
I’m Ellery Ng, PCC, NCC® — Executive Communication & Confidence Coach in Singapore. I work with professionals who are sharp, capable, and quietly held back by patterns they cannot yet see.
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