3 Ways Public Speaking Skills Are Actually Emotional Skills

Have you ever held the idea that to be professional means to keep emotions out? It’s a common misconception that many people believe, especially when it comes to public speaking, presentations and group discussions at the workplace. However, in my coaching practice, I’ve witnessed again and again how a person’s ability to speak in public suffer when they are not adept with emotions. Which is why I sometimes say that public speaking skills are, in very real ways, actually emotional skills.

One of the things I do as a communication and confidence coach, is to help you access and harness emotions – first and foremost within yourself, and then in others. Below, we’ll look at 3 ways that that public speaking skills are actually emotional skills, and how you can start to harness the power of emotions for clearer, more confident communication.

3 Ways Public Speaking Skills Are Actually Emotional Skills

① Being Comfortable With Emotion Is a Public Speaking Skill

One of the most significant ways your public speaking skills can suffer is when your awareness of emotions is low. When you’re disconnected from your emotions, you may come across as robotic or detached, which can distance your audience. This will also likely mean that what you say lacks emotional weight, making you less persuasive.

In another scenario, you’re delivering a presentation, and you’re so focused on sticking to the script that you overlook the emotional cues from your audience. Sometimes, they come in the form of questions that you think are objections, so you block them out and bulldoze through your script. Doing so means you miss opportunities to connect and adapt your message effectively to your listeners. This can create a tragic outcome, where the audience feels you’re off-track even though you were sticking closely to the script.

The work here is to become comfortable (or at least, more familiar) with emotions. You can learn how to better be with your emotions, as well as the emotions of others, so you can create a genuine connection with your audience. The ability to be with an emotion is a tolerance, not much different from how one might build the tolerance for spicy food. Developing this skill will enable you to adjust your message in real-time, making your communication more engaging and relatable.

② How to Not Let Overthinking & Self-Doubt Cripple Your Public Speaking

Overthinking is a pain many of my clients suffered before they found me. Overthinking or self-doubt can be crippling when it comes to speaking up in public. For a lot of people, it’s being indecisive to the point of paralysis, e.g. “Should I say it?” or “What if I’m wrong”? In the end, you decide to keep silent and not speak up at all. I’ve lost count of the number of times I heard clients share the feedback, “My boss tells me I need to speak up more,” or “I need to increase my visibility in meetings”.

In more serious cases, it can manifest as imposter syndrome, making you question your abilities and even self-worth. As a result, your confidence takes a nosedive, and your message becomes shaky and unconvincing. This often comes up in social interactions, and not just in professional contexts.

If you struggle with overthinking or self-doubt, I would work with you on strategies to bypass your paralysing thoughts. Because let’s face it – you won’t solve overthinking with more thinking. The way out of overthinking is action, which is ultimately sparked by emotion.

Reflect on your own history: are you more likely to take action because you logically knew you should, or when you strongly felt you had to or wanted to? Hence, harnessing the emotion behind your intention is one way to not let overthinking and self-doubt cripple your public speaking.

③ Expecting Anxiety Is Key To Better Public Speaking Skills

Anxiety is most destructive when you chastise yourself for feeling it, and try to hide it. When it’s intense, it can might cause shaking or sweating, a racing heart, or even mental blocks, leading to that dreaded ‘brain fog’ or blank mind. In such moments, you might stammer, say incoherent sentences, or even freeze entirely. Your listeners might ask you to repeat your explanation, give you confused looks, or even stop the conversation awkwardly.

Because it can have such devastating effects, many people try to eliminate or prevent it at all costs. So the moment they feel even a bit of it, dread and panic sets in. There’s now FEAR towards the anxiety!

This is the reason why I often tell clients to EXPECT anxiety, instead of reacting to it with self-critical judgement. This is a nuanced move that can make a huge difference.

I’m sure you’ve heard how important it is to silence that nagging inner critic and replace anxiety with calm. While this is true, there is more to it than psyching up to “believe in yourself”. In fact, when I work with my clients, a key area of exploration is how to speak and act from a place of uncertainty, which is the basis of anxiety. It sounds counter-intuitive, but when you learn to be more emotionally-authentic, your public speaking skills actually go up, and your listeners will be more inclined to trust and follow your lead.

Effective Communicators Learn Emotional Skills

At this point, I hope you can see how “to be professional means to keep emotions out” is a misconception that can seriously impede your public speaking skills. Emotions are a natural and integral part of effective communication, and acknowledging them is the first step to improving your ability to speak up in meetings and speeches alike. You can learn to become more aware of emotions, both in yourself and in others, and harness them for more effective public speaking.

If you wish to learn these skills, the privacy and safety of a 1-on-1 coaching environment can be highly beneficial.

Jace Chen | Senior SDR

How I can help you improve your communication by harnessing your emotions

I can help you improve your communication and make better use of your emotions. This is familiar territory I’ve visited with clients on over the years, as a full-time communication coach, specializing in communication and confidence.

Every coaching engagement is unique, because each client has different needs, weaknesses and strengths. However, there are processes that unfold every single time:

• Through open exploration and in-depth reflection, we will uncover your blindspots.
• Once you can see the cause or nature of your issue, you might also be able to see how you can do things differently so you get different result.
• I can also guide you to try new ways of saying or doing things, that are effective and feel authentic for you.
• Together, we will co-create practices that you can adopt, to assimilate what you learn into your regular way of being.
• I will provide you with honest feedback which you can use to calibrate and fine-tune your new skills.

What coaching is

Coaching is a form of super-customised learning, focused solely on your needs. It is one of the most dignified forms of professional help, because you choose the topic, direction and depth of what you wish to work on.

In fact, my clients are NOT ‘broken’ in any way. They are capable, creative and self-initiated individuals who want to live out their full potential. Many of them are high-performers at their workplace.

They just want support to help them hit their objectives more quickly and with less pain.

If taking ownership of your growth appeals to you, coaching is might be suitable for you.

WhatsApp me now, to find out how you and I can work together on your communication and confidence.

Or, if you know what you want, and would like to move things along more quickly, you can pre-book a ‘chemistry’ coaching session with me → here. I will respond to you to confirm the session.