Let’s assume you’re committed to maintaining good physical health because you understand the far-reaching impact it has on your life and the people you love. You exercise, eat well, and see a doctor for regular check-ups, so that you do not become a burden to those you love. But, do you realise that nurturing the emotional health of your relationships is just as vital, especially in your communication with your spouse or family members? Or do you burden your relationships with poor emotional health?
Poor Health In Any Form Burdens Your Loved Ones
Let’s begin by acknowledging the undeniable truth: good physical health is a cornerstone for leading a fulfilling life. It enables you to partake in daily activities, pursue your passions, and provide support to your family. When your physical health falters, it can lead to a domino effect of consequences for your loved ones.
For instance, if you develop a chronic illness that requires extensive care, your family members may become your caregivers. The emotional toll on them can be overwhelming as they juggle their own lives, jobs, and responsibilities alongside taking care of you. Your physical health struggles inevitably spill into their emotional well-being, creating a challenging environment for everyone involved.
This is where you, as a caring family member, would likely encourage seeking medical assistance and focusing on your physical health. You would understand the need to address these issues, recognizing the positive impact it would have on you and those around you. But here’s the twist: emotional health can have highly-similar impact on your relationships.
A Barrier To Communication In Relationships: Poor Emotional Health
In your relationships with your spouse or family members, emotional health plays a pivotal role as well! If left unattended, repeated conflicts can brew like an untamed storm, bringing frustration, resentment, distrust, and even contempt into your home. It’s not uncommon for people to doubt themselves, questioning whether they’re effectively communicating with their loved ones. Many struggle with managing their emotions, leading to anxiety or short tempers, which only exacerbate these issues. Every conversation starts to feel like a high-stakes excercise, to the point where it might feel safer to not communicate one’s needs.
The truth is: your inability to effectively communicate or manage your emotions places a significant burden on your family. It’s like carrying a backpack filled with unresolved emotional pain, and the weight increases with each unresolved conflict. The strain can be palpable, affecting not only yourself, but also your loved ones. How draining it is to repeatedly feel the stress, anxiety or resentment when communicating with each other when there is a mountain of old, unresolved conflicts weighing in the background? This can make it extremely difficult to have productive conversations, as everyone is either focused on defending themselves or eager to argue and prove themselves ‘correct’.
3 Things to Improve Your Communication for Better Emotional Health
At this point, you might be recognizing the familiar patterns and the emotional baggage that has accumulated within your relationships. The good news is that you can intentionally improve your emotional health. Just as you can choose to seek a doctor’s advice and adopt healthy habits for physical health, you can also work with a communication coach for better emotional well-being and effective communication in relationships. A good communication coach provides you a workshop-like environment where you can uncover your blindspots and customise solutions to improve your emotional health, changing the way you communicate for the better.
1. Harnessing Your Emotions
Your emotions might feel like a storm that rocks and capsizes your boat. If so, coaching can be your compass through the storm, helping you navigate the choppy waters. ‘Coz ignoring or suppressing your emotions cause more damage than good in the long run. It’s healthier to learn how to harness these emotions, understand their underlying causes, and channel them into effective communication. When you can express yourself with clarity and empathy, you pave the way for healthier interactions with your loved ones.
2. Resolving Emotional Pain
Obviously, it can be difficult to get the support of the person(s) who caused your emotional pain in the first place. This is a common obstacle to healing relationships. Coaching can provide a safe, private space for making sense of your experiences and letting go of habits that perpetuate emotional pain.
As a neutral expert, I help you by co-creating tools and strategies that address the issues in your communication, allowing you to release the burden of resentment, anxiety, and anger that might be weighing you down. This newfound emotional freedom can breathe life into how you communicate in your relationships, fostering understanding and trust.
3. Building Resilience
By focusing on your emotional health, you’re not just benefiting yourself; you’re building resilience within your relationships. As life continues, your conversations and conflicts with your loved ones will evolve. Coaching with me is reality-based; I can support you to respond to these changes as they come. Over time, you will cultivate strong, open, and honest communication that strengthen your bonds and enable your relationships to not just survive, but thrive.
Asst. Director, Operations & HR, Beecroft Animal Specialist Services
I’ve had issues communicating with my partner for quite a while. I found it difficult to share my feelings with her. But after what I learnt from you, I was finally able to speak my thoughts, share my feelings… most importantly, she was finally able to understand and relate to what I was expressing! It was a nothing short of a 180º transformation, from how we have been!
El, I experienced a breakthrough in my communication after our previous session.
As you know, I’ve had issues communicating with my partner for quite a while. I found it hard to talk to her, and it was difficult to share my feelings with her.
But after what I learnt from you in our previous session, that same night, I had one of the best conversations with my her! I was finally able to speak my thoughts, share my feelings… most importantly, she was finally able to understand and relate to what I was expressing!
It was a nothing short of a 180º transformation, from how we have been!
From the start, I was mindful of the space; I didn’t fall into the trap of having the conversation with her while I was driving. This thing you spotted already made a fundamental difference!
When we sat down to talk, I stayed aware of how I was somatically. I shifted my breath and my body as needed, so I was able to manage my emotions and articulate my needs. The conversation went so smooth, and at the end, I really felt understood. Finally!
I also shared your techniques with my partner, and showed her how to use them. She instantly felt she could calm herself down and be in better control of her words. True enough, when she applied it to talk with her family, she was able to get her message across clearly, without breaking down in tears!
Ever since that day, I felt that I have no problems speaking with people. Incredible, right?
I’ve also been using and sharing this at the workplace, where I often have to help my team deal with interpersonal issues. I feel great that I’m able to improve my communication and to offer the same help to others.
I’m not perfect yet. But this experience was truly insightful, because I can clearly see what I was doing wrong in the past! Now I know how I can make better communication happen!
I feel extremely happy that I’m able to share how I feel and what I need, without offending people. But I’m most happy that I can share my inner thoughts to my partner and be understood.
Looking forward to more!
Effective Communicators Learn Emotional Skills
Just as you understand the importance of maintaining good physical health for the well-being of your family, it’s essential to recognize that your emotional health is equally significant, especially in how you communicate in your relationships with your spouse or family members. By acknowledging the emotional impact of our communication and consciously working on making it more effective, you can transform your relationships into havens of understanding, trust, and love.
Being able to communicate in a way that is clear and effective, without hurting others is a manifestation of love towards the people you treasure. It creates the sort of emotional health that is a cornerstone of more enriching, loving relationships.
How I can help you improve your communication by harnessing your emotions
I can help you improve your communication and make better use of your emotions. This is familiar territory I’ve visited with clients on over the years, as a full-time communication coach, specializing in communication and confidence.
Every coaching engagement is unique, because each client has different needs, weaknesses and strengths. However, there are processes that unfold every single time:
- Through open exploration and in-depth reflection, we will uncover your blindspots.
- Once you can see the cause or nature of your issue, you might also be able to see how you can do things differently so you get different result.
- I can also guide you to try new ways of saying or doing things, that are effective and feel authentic for you.
- Together, we will co-create practices that you can adopt, to assimilate what you learn into your regular way of being.
- I will provide you with honest feedback which you can use to calibrate and fine-tune your new skills.
What coaching is
Coaching is a form of super-customised learning, focused solely on your needs. It is one of the most dignified forms of professional help, because you choose the topic, direction and depth of what you wish to work on.
In fact, my clients are NOT ‘broken’ in any way. They are capable, creative and self-initiated individuals who want to live out their full potential. Many of them are high-performers at their workplace.
They just want support to help them hit their objectives more quickly and with less pain.
If taking ownership of your growth appeals to you, coaching is might be suitable for you.
WhatsApp me now, to find out how you and I can work together on your communication and confidence.
Or, if you know what you want, and would like to move things along more quickly, you can pre-book a ‘chemistry’ coaching session with me → here. I will respond to you to confirm the session.
"A good coach can change the game. A great coach can change a life."
~ John R. Wooden