Fraud Blocker Anger Management Coaching for Better Interpersonal Communication

Anger Management Coaching Doesn’t Assume You’re ‘Low-Eq’ or Bad-Tempered

What do you think of when you hear someone say, “You should go for anger management coaching“?

Would you feel defensive? Offended?

The term “anger management” might carry the sterotypical impression of a person who’s bad-tempered or abusive. Perhaps, a character like Anger personified, in Pixar’s Inside Out.

However, in my coaching room, the truth tends to be more nuanced. In this article, I will share the nature of what I work on with my ‘anger management’ coaching clients, and how they’re actually the same improvements that many of us are seeking.

Anger management doesn't mean you're a bad person - you just need new communication skills

If you are in senior management or executive roles, effective communication is paramount. Yet, you might find yourself struggling to balance assertiveness with diplomacy, leading to unintended consequences. As a result, you might find yourself experiencing more frustration and even outright anger. If so, remember that emotions are part of being human. For most managers and executives, it can be a signal that it’s time for some intentional work.

Anger management coaching can be a vital resource if you want to refine your interpersonal communication skills without sacrificing your authenticity or professional image.

Senior managers and executives often face a unique set of challenges when it comes to communication. These challenges can create a disconnect between their intentions and the impact of their words, resulting in strained relationships and reduced effectiveness. This article is an opener into anger management coaching, highlighting its importance for executives and exploring how it intersects with executive communication and interpersonal communication.

Frequently Sought-After Goals in Anger Management Coaching

the ability to be assertive without offending or to be perceived as angry is what you can learn through communication coaching

① “I want to be more assertive without offending others.”

② “I want to express myself authentically without fear of judgement.”

③ “I want to stop people-pleasing.”

④ “I want to communicate without being overwhelmed by emotions.”

Do you notice how the above 4 points can be adequately described without the suggestion that you’re ‘angry’?

Anger is often the secondary emotion. Meaning, there is something deeper at work. The blindspots in these areas are what I support my clients to uncover.

I Often Offend Colleagues; Do I Need Anger Management Coaching?

One common issue that senior managers and executives face is being percieved as offensive by colleagues when attempting to be more assertive. This often stems from a lack of awareness about how your words and tone are perceived by others. Anger management coaching helps you understand the fine line between assertiveness and aggression, providing tools to communicate your needs and opinions effectively without alienating your team members.

With a communication coach as your ‘spotter’, you can learn to recognize your triggers and develop strategies to manage your responses. This not only improves your interpersonal communication skills but also fosters a more respectful and productive work environment. After all, effective leaders create and manage the mood of the workplace environment. By addressing the root causes of your anger and frustration, executives and managers can transform their communication style into one that commands respect without causing offense.

interpersonal skills are sometimes called core critical skills

Effective anger management coaching also emphasizes the importance of empathy in communication. Coaching creates a space where you can consider the perspectives and feelings of your colleagues, helping you to prevent further misunderstandings and conflicts. With me, I will also support you to strengthen your own emotional awareness and mastery. After all, navigating emotions is at the heart of effective communication, especially at the workplace. This empathetic approach to communication is essential for maintaining strong, positive relationships with your team.

Unpacking ‘Anger Management’

Fear of Judgment & Inauthentic Communication

Another significant pain point for many senior managers and executives is the fear of being judged by others, which often leads to inauthentic communication. This fear can stifle your true voice and prevent you from expressing your genuine thoughts and ideas. Anger management coaching addresses this by helping executives build confidence in their communication abilities, allowing them to speak authentically and assertively.

The coaching process involves identifying and challenging the negative beliefs that underlie your fear of judgment. By working through these beliefs, executives can develop a healthier self-image and greater self-assurance in their interpersonal communication skills. This not only raises the effectiveness of their executive communication skills but also allows them to connect more deeply with their colleagues and team members.

Mabelene Tai is a client of communication & confidence coach Ellery Ng in Singapore

Mabelene Tai

Working on myself with Ellery’s coaching, I’m able to access my courage to voice out what I want, and to voice my opinions without worrying about what other people think about me.”

Authentic communication is a cornerstone of effective leadership. Even in less ideal scenarios, most executives need to sound and feel authentic to their listeners. When you learn how to show up authentically, you inspire trust and loyalty in your teams. Anger management coaching can provide the foundation necessary to achieve this level of authenticity, ensuring that you can express yourself freely and confidently.

When You're Not Equipped to Harness Anger, You Might Swing to People-Pleasing

Many senior managers and executives fall into the trap of people-pleasing behaviors, often at the expense of their own success and fulfillment. This can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration, which can spill over into their professional interactions. Anger management coaching helps executives recognize and break free from these patterns, empowering them to prioritize the needs and goals that are truly important.

we each think speak and listen through our personal filters

By learning to set healthy boundaries and assert themselves appropriately, you can reduce the stress and burnout associated with people-pleasing behaviors. This shift not only enhances your well-being but also improves your ability to lead effectively. When you, as a leader, are clear about your needs and priorities, you can make more strategic decisions and drive your teams toward greater success.

trust and safety breaks down in the face of violent communication

Anger management coaching also teaches executives how to say no without feeling guilty or fearing negative repercussions. If we do not have this skill, one likely outcome is an outburst of anger (instead of a clear, firm boundary). We might ‘snap’ at others, or put up a defensive front – all this to avoid feeling guilt and fear.

Remember what I said at the beginning? Anger is often the secondary emotion.

Not Getting Overwhelmed in High-Stakes Conversations

High-stakes conversations are a common occurrence the higher up you are in the workplace hierarchy, and managing emotions during these interactions is critical. If you are a leader who is easily overwhelmed by emotions, you risk being perceived as unprofessional, which can undermine your credibility and authority. Anger management coaching can equip you with customised techniques to stay calm and composed during important discussions, ensuring your message is conveyed in a dignified and effective manner.

emotions make your public speaking skills even more effective

In the safety of the coaching room, I guide you through experiments that identify your emotional triggers, and uncover your blindspots. We then co-create strategies that optimise your responses. Because of my somatic techniques, I can equip you with methods that are simple yet effective for maintaining a clear and focused mind even in the most challenging situations.  These somatic techniques can be easily replicated in real-life scenarios, allowing you to enhance your executive communication skills and maintain your professional image.

communication coaching client Janet Aisyah Quek

Janet Aisyah Quek

“His practical tools enabled me to increase my confidence in handling difficult situations and stakeholders… His techniques are effective because they work both in your mind and in your body.”

Effective anger management coaching also addresses the importance of emotional intelligence in leadership. Executives are taught to recognize and understand their own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. This awareness allows them to navigate high-stakes conversations with greater confidence, ensuring that their communication is both impactful and professional.

The Benefits of Anger Management Coaching for Executives

At this point, you probably see that ‘anger management’ is just ONE of the possible goals of executive communication coaching. By addressing the specific pain points outlined in this article, I help leaders like you to communicate more confidently, build stronger relationships, and enhance your overall leadership capabilities. The interpersonal skills developed through coaching are essential for navigating the high-stakes conversations and discussions at the workplace.

One of the key benefits of coaching (whether for anger or for executive communication) is the development of greater self-awareness. Executives who understand their own emotional triggers and responses are better able to persuade and inspire action. This self-awareness also helps to build empathy and understanding, which are critical for people to follow and to cooperate with you. In other words, interpersonal skills, again.

executive communication coaching can help you even out the odds in a male dominated workplace

Another significant benefit is the improvement in conflict resolution skills. Anger management coaching helps executives and managers to handle conflicts constructively, ensuring that disagreements are resolved in a way that strengthens relationships and promotes collaboration. This is particularly important in high-stress industries where effective conflict resolution can make the difference between success and failure. It is your duty (and opportunity to value-add) in areas where your peers or teammates lack interpersonal communication skills.

'Anger Management Coaching' Is Just A Label

The label of ‘anger management’ is sometimes over-simplified, suggesting that the coachee is of ’low-EQ’ or is bad-tempered. In my experience, the true work resolves around emotional mastery – being aware of what’s going on inside you, and learning how to harness that energy. The people are your workplace are also emotionally-driven (all healthy human beings are). This is why ‘anger management coaching’ can be an opening into a career-defining body of work for senior managers and executives who want to enhance their communication skills and leadership presence.

HOW YOU CAN BENEFIT FROM EXECUTIVE COACHING

Jace Chen

I had challenges with communication due to mental barriers. Working with Ellery, I felt these barriers break down, & a new way of being opened up. A truly liberating experience. I’ve even gotten a promotion!

Sherilyn Tan

“Ellery helped me to realize that I can change the tone of communication… I could definitely see the results after a few months of coaching. Now, I am able to regulate myself better as well as handle tough sitations with a clearer mind.

Vikram Ramankutty

“I’m able to be more assertive in my requests to my colleagues & managers. And I’ve been able to adopt a more relaxed stance to issues at work.”

Vannessa Toh

My friend told me I have changed alot – from negative, defensive communication to positive, and are able to look things at different perspectives. This also helps in my work when communicating with clients and colleagues.”

Marlene Gonçlaves

“I actually felt a difference in my posture & its positive consequences, either in myself or in the communication with others.”

Meena Kumaree

I discovered how to say ‘No’, in a way that felt powerful yet safe to express. It was quite an emotional breakthrough for me. I understood that I have a voice & I can use it… If you want to greatly improve your communication, relationships and confidence, Ellery is your coach.”

Lawrence Lee

The most significant experience is the posture that he noticed about me. He guided me to be at the correct position when I am speaking and after that, I speak out more confidently… he helped me understand my issues and practice till I overcome it.

Andy Yeo

I gained more value than I expected. They have manifested in my business, my relationship with my loved ones & in the relationship with myself.”

Rachel Wan

“Working with Ellery was highly worth the investment as I gained so many tools I can use for a lifetime & I have been freed in many ways.”

Daniel Whisby

Ellery is a master of his craft. It is clear that he is able to help people from all walks of life… After, I was able to use my body to control my moods & emotions.”

Simran Kaur Sidhu

“Extremely insightful. By talking through some of my own self doubts, why i felt a certain way and practicing a simple exercise, i was able to gain a better understanding of how i was my own barrier and take away concrete next steps.”

Felicia Andes

“I can see the improvement in my communication & relationship with my loved ones & I am closer to them again.”

Michelle Trisno

“El has helped me figure out these blind spots… I’m able to make my needs known to others, thus making my communication a lot better. I am able to give better clarity to those around me as well, both in work and personal relationships. That opens up a lot of potential and confidence in myself.”

What Coaching Is

Coaching is a form of super-customised learning, focused solely on your needs. It is one of the most dignified forms of professional help, because you choose the topic, direction and depth of what you wish to work on.

In fact, my clients are NOT ‘broken’ in any way. They are capable, creative and self-initiated individuals who want to live out their full potential. Many of them are high-performers at their workplace.

They just want support to help them hit their objectives more quickly and with less pain.

If taking ownership of your growth appeals to you, coaching is might be suitable for you.

WhatsApp me now and find out how you and I can work together on your communication and confidence.

“It takes two to know one”

~ Gregory Bateson